maybe just one night longer?

Archive for the ‘sappy.’ Category

yesterday was such a bad day. but i got a lot of sleep to try and beat this sickness that is trying to take over my body, i cannot afford to get sick. if i get sick, i’ll just give up, i know it. part of me thinks i am overwhelming myself with 23 credits, one of those classes being a show that my director expects us to devote all of our free time to, and the other half doesn’t want to admit it. however, today was so pretty. i love when it starts to get cold and i can put on my $8 goodwill peacoat and walk around with a scarf or a hat. the wind was blowing in such a way that all of the orange leaves were falling off the trees and it was like it was raining spiraling leaves. even though my nose was running and i had previously been craving the feeling of lying in bed until my next class, i just wanted to stand there and let all the leaves hit me. and the second i got in to my jail cell of a room that feeling dissappeared. there are days when all i need is someone to help me acknowledge that this school is not my life, not my home. that i have a home 2 and a half hours from here with a warm bed, food, and two parents who love me. and that i have an amazing sister 12 hours away who loves and believes in me. but sometimes its hard to acknowledge that when every day i feel as though i only have about an hour to myself and then i lose that to working on things for my classes.

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i’ve grown up so much in the last year and a half. so much. i love it. as much as i miss being a little kid where i was able to ask anybody what to do and they’d show me the best choice for me, i love being grown up. being capable of making informed decisions. i can vote for the first time in my life and i’m not going to waste that. i’m going to do as much research on my own that i can and look in to everything and make as informed a decision as possible. because i don’t want to grow up into one of those ignorant americans who votes based on their friends or on who is black or white or female. i want to vote for who i think is going to take this country in the right direction. i love me. you know that? for the first times in my life i am capable of saying that.

now i’m going to go organize my fridge. ❤



  • None
  • anditbegins: actually, it looks like 10 times bigger biotch. stop being so jeal.
  • Julie: whoosh look at that chest go! boom. roasted.
  • anditbegins: trust me, i know julie.

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